Hey readers, hope everyone is well and happy to be alive. Today is one of those days... I am just bitchy and irritated!! Don't be alarmed I'm not depressed and sad and wanted to push down a little child and shit lol. I'm just slowly getting fed up with the things around me.
For starters I am back and forth the govt departments trying to track down my birth certificate if I don't get it in time I can't vote in the next elections :(. But as usual government workers are so incompetent that it feels like I'm getting nowhere. I'm trying my best so hopefully something shakes really soon.
Next and most important I woke up 3 times last night, a usual with me. Messaged my space taking ex/current- bf and no response he's out like a light. This is fine, then he wakes up at 5 and we talk until I leave for work around 8:30am. He's feeling unhappy and not at his best, alone all that stuff. As usual and like i have been doing since we decided space, I was there to comfort him and talk to him until the feeling subsided. After getting to work and dealing with all this government stress it finally hit me (warning explicit words follow...), Why the fuck am I up early every morning listening to this whiney motherfucker go on about being unhappy and all this bull shit and when I need someone to help me relieve stress he is M.I.A. That motherfucker told me he needed space because he was unhappy but the old damn dog got his space and is still fucking unhappy!! I suspected he was flirting up this girl, where the fuck is she at 5am when you need someone to talk and my number is the only one you can find?? Men are so fucking stupid! Big Sean said it best "Don't lose the girl of your life, for the hoe of the night." I am royally pissed that he is still unhappy, its been about 3 weeks now, if you still haven't found your happiness I suggest you wake up and realise I wasn't the source of that shit. To make it worse he keep talking about being alone and feeling alone, I offered to let you come over and you didn't. Motherfucker you choose to be alone so don't give me that bull shit! WHEW!!!
Now that I have gotten all that rage and frustration out, back to happy bubbly thoughts :) lol. I just needed to release that because it has been haunting me and before I blow up on him I choose to write. I will be honest tho, from here going forward I think I'm going to have to have that talk with him. I don't think its fair that he gets all the perks of a relationship without being committed to one. I have given him some time and space and if he doesn't want to be with me, then don't fuck with me, leave me alone, don't come by when you want someone to hold, don't call me when life is stressing you out and you need someone to talk to, cus I won't be there. I have been far too good to him to have to work my way back up to girlfriend status, I never left.
My advice to you readers, don't follow in my footsteps. Do not accept a situation you are not comfortable with just to keep that person close. Taking space in a relationship is bull shit! Love me or leave me! and remember dolls, "What this cutie won't do, another one will ;) "
Peace, love and good sex to you all,
Jimena <3
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