Hey Readers!! Missed you all so!! Finally getting around to updating you guys on the status of my life and all I'm going through. Nowadays feels like I'm just walking, nowhere to really go, nothing really on my mind. Thinking about all thats going on around me is just stressful, so I choose to put it all to the back of my mind and focus on prayer. The way I see it things going on right now are all things I don't have a lot of control over, so instead of stressing things I can change, I just need to accept it and push forward.
Work is work. My boss bugs me sooo much! She's very pushy and I hate pushy. Keep pushing me and eventually I bite your ass forget pushn back lol. So to ease the tension when she comes in I lock myself in my office or leave. Too much estrogen in here anyways, between hot flashes and menstrual cycles this office will have your head spinning.
Now for the hot juicy sip sip, THE LOVE LIFE lol. I know marco is killin himself laughing in front of his computer! I have one quote that will sum this shit up "when the cat's away, Simone will play ;) " The Lord is my Shepherd and he knew what I wanted, time away!! I was so happy when the Mr man went to Miami for vacation. Don't get me wrong I love him, but he has just been so stressful nowadays I needed some space to breathe. Aside from space to breathe because he was going away we had plenty make up sexin to be getn in for the time he would be away, my legs still weak! whew! So I sent him on the plane and the fun began from there. He left his car with me so at no point should I be stranded while he's away (gotta love him for that). He started off miserable because things weren't going exactly as he planned on the trip, he messaged me bitchin about it and I tried to be positive and lift his spirits by telling him to enjoy the trip anyway, just use the time to relax. He responds with "I hate when you run on that be positive fuck, this shit ain okay man, fuck" Hold up, hold up no that motherfucker did not get loud and angry and shit on my ass! I'm trying to not be a debby downer and u cussin at me?? I almost took my kitchen knife to them tires! He so lucky I'm a changed woman and found Jesus! I started to talk a little harsh to him reminding him that this is all a consequence of his own actions and he just needs to live with it, I kept my cool, no cussin. We just ended the talk quick, that was strike one!
Strike two! Next day he's talking to me and giving me them one word answers which I don't like. So I just kept talking hoping he would get out of it. Then I told him I had a softball game and he was just like okay... I am a woman who went to almost every single basketball game of his for the whole season! Before every game wishing him good luck and always there to talk and reflect after, he can't be at my game and all he says is okay??? So I said you should be saying "go to your game and good luck babe". His response: "Listen I am driving miss, when I stop I will say what I need to say and ask what I need to ask" Yes that ungrateful motherfucker did... my response: yes sir. I don't know what is his problem but he has this really bad habit when he is in a bad mood or not doing well lashing out at me nowadays. I gave mr man his space, played my softball game, went out with some guy friends after, then had a mini late night pool party at my house for my softball team. He so lucky I retired bad girls Simone, cus she wudda been getn it in too.
The next day I waited for him to speak first, he started with good morning and I responded the same. Then he sends wassup, I just said nothin n tuned his ass out. He then responds with an "lol" I read it and ignored that shit. Ladies one thing I know is what I am worth and the respect I deserve. Don't ever let anyone talk down to you then come back like its nothing, you may call it holding a grudge, I call it bringing to your attention that the shit ain cool. After that I put on a cute little dress and went out with my team to a house party. We had a great time and acted real loose. Messaged him to find out what time his flight is coming in today only to find he is coming next week tuesday, not this tuesday. At first I was kinda sad cus I do miss him, but then I thought, even more fun to have.
The whole point of this post is, when he's acting a fool take your space and do you. Do not let him treat you anyway he feels like and get away with it because he is mad. Take a stand! No one can ride you unless your back is bent, so stand up for what you believe. As for mr man, I'm going keep giving him the distance because he needs time to cool off and catch his fucking head before he gets snatched up. He's been talking real nice ever since and tryn to be cool, I'm still ignoring his ass. I'm just gonna do my thing this way and let him do his that way. But warning, if he steps out of line again Jasmine Sullivan goin be playing in my head and Imma have to buss the windows out that pearly white caddy! He must not know bout me....
I repeat readers, hold onto your morals and values. Do not allow anyone to disrepect you and get away with it. Punish his ass cus you know what you deserve. I'll be watching mr man closely over these next few days, and if nothing has still changed I'll be packing up his shit so when he comes for his car they in there waiting on him too. Cus a real man recognizes a good thing and holds on to it and after all I've been through in my life I need a man not a boy who thinks he can.
Much Love readers,
Jimena
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Monday, 30 July 2012
Sunshine after the rain
Hey Bloggers,
Hope everyone is having a great day. This week I am content, actually a little bit happier. For the month of July life has just been kicking and pushing and almost trying to break me but its the end of the month and things are turning up for the better. I guess thats just the way it works, you have to go through struggles and pain so when you receive joy you know exactly what it is and taking a positive approach appreciating every minute of it.
For starters this weekend I worked my ass off! I had guests check in at my best villa, I was running around on Saturday from 10am-4pm! So I worked the whole day pretty much running up and down to get things ready for them. I was exhausted! When they get to the villa, they loved it! I was so happy! Not to mention this is a 3 week booking so the salary should be pretty damn good as well next month. Overall a good day.
Making my saturday even more amazing Kyle is back!! OMG I missed my baby bro/ partner in crime sooo much! He is hilarious and whenever work is stressin me out he's there. Its so rare to find that in a sibling, a brother at that but I love and appreciate him so much. He brought over my favourite Bambarra rum and we had a few other people over and drank and cracked jokes all evening. Totally made up for working on the weekend. The Mr man comes over to say hi to me, this is the one time I will have to blame the alcohol lol. Before he even go upstairs my panties were on the ground lol. I was upstairs my head hitting the headboard while everyone else was downstairs drinking (a damn shame i know). Maybe it was the liquor but that was some bomb ass sex! It felt so liberating as well and so dangerous considering anyone could come upstairs and hear us. I know, I know this is the same selfish jackass, but I needed my cracked you guys know how it is lol. We took a shower then went back down and everyone could see it on my face, I was sooo embarrassed!
So on Sunday I woke up feeling refreshed. My coworker invited me on the boat to go fishing. A day on the boat finished my weekend well. I caught about 5 fish drank about 6 beers and got sunburned so bad my cheeks are red lol. I had an amazing time. It was so good to be out on the water and just relax. To add to this day I was speaking to Mr. Man and telling him how I happy I am and I wish one day he can find that happiness in his life. I brought up the space he requested and his response is "quit with all the questions cus as far as I am concerned nothing ever changed, its still us." Well slap my ass and call me silly, for someone who wanted this space and gave me the distance all of a sudden he realises nothing changed between us two and pretty much wants to forget the whole "space" thing. This is why I always stop and take a while to process things, even if it takes 3 days! He had me playin psycho crazy bitch for 3 weeks to only realise I'm so good for him. Now I'm at the point where I'm glad he's back but I've already distanced myself from the relationship. I'm not talking to other people but I still had to harden my heart to swallow that pill 3 weeks ago, now I'm supposed to act like nothing changed. It did for me....
Drama, drama lol. I need my own seat on Oprah at the rate I'm going. Its always something with this topsy turvy relationship of mine... But on a plus side I realised I made more money than I was expecting this month too, so I can probably treat myself to a weave lol.
Readers one thing I learned this month is most things we try so hard to control would work out a lot better if we just let them be. Thats what I did, I could make him stay, I couldn't make my job get easier and I could force myself to be happy. Slowly everything just worked itself out. In life when it rains, it pours but once the rain stops its just so refreshing and beautiful. So stop stressing life, just sit back with your mixed drink by the pool and let it all jus pass you by.
Stay positive bloggers,
Jimena
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
An angry black bitch....
Hey readers, hope everyone is well and happy to be alive. Today is one of those days... I am just bitchy and irritated!! Don't be alarmed I'm not depressed and sad and wanted to push down a little child and shit lol. I'm just slowly getting fed up with the things around me.
For starters I am back and forth the govt departments trying to track down my birth certificate if I don't get it in time I can't vote in the next elections :(. But as usual government workers are so incompetent that it feels like I'm getting nowhere. I'm trying my best so hopefully something shakes really soon.
Next and most important I woke up 3 times last night, a usual with me. Messaged my space taking ex/current- bf and no response he's out like a light. This is fine, then he wakes up at 5 and we talk until I leave for work around 8:30am. He's feeling unhappy and not at his best, alone all that stuff. As usual and like i have been doing since we decided space, I was there to comfort him and talk to him until the feeling subsided. After getting to work and dealing with all this government stress it finally hit me (warning explicit words follow...), Why the fuck am I up early every morning listening to this whiney motherfucker go on about being unhappy and all this bull shit and when I need someone to help me relieve stress he is M.I.A. That motherfucker told me he needed space because he was unhappy but the old damn dog got his space and is still fucking unhappy!! I suspected he was flirting up this girl, where the fuck is she at 5am when you need someone to talk and my number is the only one you can find?? Men are so fucking stupid! Big Sean said it best "Don't lose the girl of your life, for the hoe of the night." I am royally pissed that he is still unhappy, its been about 3 weeks now, if you still haven't found your happiness I suggest you wake up and realise I wasn't the source of that shit. To make it worse he keep talking about being alone and feeling alone, I offered to let you come over and you didn't. Motherfucker you choose to be alone so don't give me that bull shit! WHEW!!!
Now that I have gotten all that rage and frustration out, back to happy bubbly thoughts :) lol. I just needed to release that because it has been haunting me and before I blow up on him I choose to write. I will be honest tho, from here going forward I think I'm going to have to have that talk with him. I don't think its fair that he gets all the perks of a relationship without being committed to one. I have given him some time and space and if he doesn't want to be with me, then don't fuck with me, leave me alone, don't come by when you want someone to hold, don't call me when life is stressing you out and you need someone to talk to, cus I won't be there. I have been far too good to him to have to work my way back up to girlfriend status, I never left.
My advice to you readers, don't follow in my footsteps. Do not accept a situation you are not comfortable with just to keep that person close. Taking space in a relationship is bull shit! Love me or leave me! and remember dolls, "What this cutie won't do, another one will ;) "
Peace, love and good sex to you all,
Jimena <3
For starters I am back and forth the govt departments trying to track down my birth certificate if I don't get it in time I can't vote in the next elections :(. But as usual government workers are so incompetent that it feels like I'm getting nowhere. I'm trying my best so hopefully something shakes really soon.
Next and most important I woke up 3 times last night, a usual with me. Messaged my space taking ex/current- bf and no response he's out like a light. This is fine, then he wakes up at 5 and we talk until I leave for work around 8:30am. He's feeling unhappy and not at his best, alone all that stuff. As usual and like i have been doing since we decided space, I was there to comfort him and talk to him until the feeling subsided. After getting to work and dealing with all this government stress it finally hit me (warning explicit words follow...), Why the fuck am I up early every morning listening to this whiney motherfucker go on about being unhappy and all this bull shit and when I need someone to help me relieve stress he is M.I.A. That motherfucker told me he needed space because he was unhappy but the old damn dog got his space and is still fucking unhappy!! I suspected he was flirting up this girl, where the fuck is she at 5am when you need someone to talk and my number is the only one you can find?? Men are so fucking stupid! Big Sean said it best "Don't lose the girl of your life, for the hoe of the night." I am royally pissed that he is still unhappy, its been about 3 weeks now, if you still haven't found your happiness I suggest you wake up and realise I wasn't the source of that shit. To make it worse he keep talking about being alone and feeling alone, I offered to let you come over and you didn't. Motherfucker you choose to be alone so don't give me that bull shit! WHEW!!!
Now that I have gotten all that rage and frustration out, back to happy bubbly thoughts :) lol. I just needed to release that because it has been haunting me and before I blow up on him I choose to write. I will be honest tho, from here going forward I think I'm going to have to have that talk with him. I don't think its fair that he gets all the perks of a relationship without being committed to one. I have given him some time and space and if he doesn't want to be with me, then don't fuck with me, leave me alone, don't come by when you want someone to hold, don't call me when life is stressing you out and you need someone to talk to, cus I won't be there. I have been far too good to him to have to work my way back up to girlfriend status, I never left.
My advice to you readers, don't follow in my footsteps. Do not accept a situation you are not comfortable with just to keep that person close. Taking space in a relationship is bull shit! Love me or leave me! and remember dolls, "What this cutie won't do, another one will ;) "
Peace, love and good sex to you all,
Jimena <3
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
What you want is not what you need...
Today is a good day. I'm happy, I feel renewed and my spirits have been lifted by the promise that better days are ahead. Days ago I prayed and prayed for the Lord to take away the feelings of anger and hurt that consumed my mind and body and made functioning in everyday life without you so hard. Just Monday, the thought of you possibly with her made my heart ache and tears fill my eyes, now all I do is smile because I know I put my all into a relationship and I like to think I got all I could get out of it, now I just need to move on.
Life has a funny way of teaching us what we want is not always what we need. I thought I needed this relationship, but I don't. To be honest I think the embarrassment surrounding the way this all went down is what had me the most upset. But I am grateful for the lesson in all this and I hope your "space" helps you find all the happiness in the world and I will continue to search for mine which is right now my work and softball.
Ladies take this lesson from me, don't keep anyone in your corner that does not want to be there. People worth holding on to will never make you try to hold on to them, they would never leave in the first place. So dust off your shoulders, chest in the air, head held high and strut like you've got an audience watching.
Thank you God for my freedom back and for getting me through. I'm no longer seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I am that light. Moving on is beautiful...
Jimena
Life has a funny way of teaching us what we want is not always what we need. I thought I needed this relationship, but I don't. To be honest I think the embarrassment surrounding the way this all went down is what had me the most upset. But I am grateful for the lesson in all this and I hope your "space" helps you find all the happiness in the world and I will continue to search for mine which is right now my work and softball.
Ladies take this lesson from me, don't keep anyone in your corner that does not want to be there. People worth holding on to will never make you try to hold on to them, they would never leave in the first place. So dust off your shoulders, chest in the air, head held high and strut like you've got an audience watching.
Thank you God for my freedom back and for getting me through. I'm no longer seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I am that light. Moving on is beautiful...
Jimena
Monday, 16 July 2012
Light at the end of the tunnel
Hey everyone, I'm back and posting. This post pretty much sums up the week I've been having and I hope it reads as well as it comes across in my head. I'm reaching a turning point in my life where I am able to prioritize better and I'm becoming a much calmer person, less reactive.
Work is finally starting to settle down a bit. To be honest I never really thought of it as getting out of hand, but with the chaos in my personal life it really made it hard to focus. Not to mention my boss is very pushy and I just need her to trust me and back off...
My personal life literally breaks my heart at times. I started talking about the space my boyfriend requested. That still eats me up inside.... Yesterday I had a bitch fit the minute I saw him around someone else. I have finally accepted that if I ever do want a future with him or to even be happy for the next few months I'm going to have to say okay to that space. After being depressed for three days angry for another three then totally over it on the last day I can finally say I'm ready for him to take that space. I know there are days ahead of me where I'll be holding back tears, and fighting to keep back angry and spiteful words, but this is definitely something I have to do. In the end if it's meant to be it will be and if not the space will leave room for who God really has intended to be in my life at this point in time....
Now that I have most of my situations sorted out, it is time for me to pick back up the pieces of what's left and work hard to be happy again. I have to be the best at what I'm doing if I want to be happy with it. Life just really has a way of tearing you down sometimes and thats just how I feel. I had amazing plans and big dreams about where I wanted to be, now I'm finding myself rethinking everything and trying to hold on to the little I have left....
I'll get through this phase though, I'm confident, alert and ready to work push to where I need to get.
Enjoy your day guys,
Jimena
Work is finally starting to settle down a bit. To be honest I never really thought of it as getting out of hand, but with the chaos in my personal life it really made it hard to focus. Not to mention my boss is very pushy and I just need her to trust me and back off...
My personal life literally breaks my heart at times. I started talking about the space my boyfriend requested. That still eats me up inside.... Yesterday I had a bitch fit the minute I saw him around someone else. I have finally accepted that if I ever do want a future with him or to even be happy for the next few months I'm going to have to say okay to that space. After being depressed for three days angry for another three then totally over it on the last day I can finally say I'm ready for him to take that space. I know there are days ahead of me where I'll be holding back tears, and fighting to keep back angry and spiteful words, but this is definitely something I have to do. In the end if it's meant to be it will be and if not the space will leave room for who God really has intended to be in my life at this point in time....
Now that I have most of my situations sorted out, it is time for me to pick back up the pieces of what's left and work hard to be happy again. I have to be the best at what I'm doing if I want to be happy with it. Life just really has a way of tearing you down sometimes and thats just how I feel. I had amazing plans and big dreams about where I wanted to be, now I'm finding myself rethinking everything and trying to hold on to the little I have left....
I'll get through this phase though, I'm confident, alert and ready to work push to where I need to get.
Enjoy your day guys,
Jimena
Thursday, 12 July 2012
Update on Life being as Simple as it Seems
Hi my loves.... So I'm back to blogging. I've missed it sooo much but with my new job I barely had time to devote to my old blog so I felt really guilty with the whack posts I was submitting. Rather than continue with the old blog that represented a much darker, more boy crazy Simone I decided to start afresh! So here goes nothing readers.....
Life is definitely a journey. A quote which I recently read and decided to keep close to me says " Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." I have to say my comfort zone ended when I started working full time and dealing with what life had to offer me. Firstly life didn't offer me a job in a field I studied four and a half years of. To be honest I feel like that was a blessing in disguise. Between you and I there is only so much science that I could take, I might be good at it but I definitely towards the end was not enjoying it. I guess thats a lesson I had to learn on my own. Yes you may be good at something and everyone else might see a future for you there, but if its not in your heart it won't ever happen. That's why I was so excited when I found the field of public health. Unfortunately, with the way this year has been looking doubt I will be furthering my education just yet.
What life did offer me was a position as a Property Manager & Vacation Rental Specialist which is definitely not all it is cut out to be. Everyone loves the confidence a real estate agent exudes, but little do they know that agent can have a tank close to E, a couple past due bills but wearing the best suits, eating at the best restaurants and showing you a property as if they don't mind if u say no when in their head they are praying to God you say yes. Working on commission is definitely a hard job, my saving grace is that I am an extremely hard worker, I do the accounting as well as other little jobs to keep me afloat so in between pay checks I can live in a condo and look the part of wealth.
Next thing life offered me was a lovely 2 bedroom condo which I share with my sister (hell yh bitch!). Apart from work at home life isn't exactly amazing! My sister is the most dramatic, bipolar chic I know lol. Love her to death but mannnn she is hella crazy. Her mood swings can be a little hard to deal with at times, but we have a 2 bedroom, 2.5 bath condo so I can stay in my own space and ignore her :). Also the bf market is starting to get old. Maybe its because I'm young or something but I dont know how these couples make it for years and years.... I've been with the same person for 10 months and we are already shaky. Damn, maybe I'm just undateable ( I know its not a word). As if our introduction wasn't dysfunctional enough, we have everything and everyone keeping us apart. Now is that time where you separate men from boys. I'm playing this one by ear, but from the way things are going not sure how much longer he will be holding on. At first I was heartbroken that something I worked so hard for and came out of character so many times for was crumbling before my very eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. But now I'm just kinda over it, can't make anyone stay and quite frankly fuck TLC I am too proud to beg lol.
So lets sum it up real nice; I'm not where I want to be but I atleast know where I'm going, I'm working hard and eventually I think it will pay off, love life is shit but I plan to invest in a vibrator anyway, feels good to live on my own if raya can control her emotions and last but not least I'm still alive :). Until next time followers....
Jimena <3
Life is definitely a journey. A quote which I recently read and decided to keep close to me says " Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." I have to say my comfort zone ended when I started working full time and dealing with what life had to offer me. Firstly life didn't offer me a job in a field I studied four and a half years of. To be honest I feel like that was a blessing in disguise. Between you and I there is only so much science that I could take, I might be good at it but I definitely towards the end was not enjoying it. I guess thats a lesson I had to learn on my own. Yes you may be good at something and everyone else might see a future for you there, but if its not in your heart it won't ever happen. That's why I was so excited when I found the field of public health. Unfortunately, with the way this year has been looking doubt I will be furthering my education just yet.
What life did offer me was a position as a Property Manager & Vacation Rental Specialist which is definitely not all it is cut out to be. Everyone loves the confidence a real estate agent exudes, but little do they know that agent can have a tank close to E, a couple past due bills but wearing the best suits, eating at the best restaurants and showing you a property as if they don't mind if u say no when in their head they are praying to God you say yes. Working on commission is definitely a hard job, my saving grace is that I am an extremely hard worker, I do the accounting as well as other little jobs to keep me afloat so in between pay checks I can live in a condo and look the part of wealth.
Next thing life offered me was a lovely 2 bedroom condo which I share with my sister (hell yh bitch!). Apart from work at home life isn't exactly amazing! My sister is the most dramatic, bipolar chic I know lol. Love her to death but mannnn she is hella crazy. Her mood swings can be a little hard to deal with at times, but we have a 2 bedroom, 2.5 bath condo so I can stay in my own space and ignore her :). Also the bf market is starting to get old. Maybe its because I'm young or something but I dont know how these couples make it for years and years.... I've been with the same person for 10 months and we are already shaky. Damn, maybe I'm just undateable ( I know its not a word). As if our introduction wasn't dysfunctional enough, we have everything and everyone keeping us apart. Now is that time where you separate men from boys. I'm playing this one by ear, but from the way things are going not sure how much longer he will be holding on. At first I was heartbroken that something I worked so hard for and came out of character so many times for was crumbling before my very eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. But now I'm just kinda over it, can't make anyone stay and quite frankly fuck TLC I am too proud to beg lol.
So lets sum it up real nice; I'm not where I want to be but I atleast know where I'm going, I'm working hard and eventually I think it will pay off, love life is shit but I plan to invest in a vibrator anyway, feels good to live on my own if raya can control her emotions and last but not least I'm still alive :). Until next time followers....
Jimena <3
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